Couples who are in loving marriages will tell you that it takes a lot of love, respect and work to maintain the spark in marriage. Many of these couples have also indicated that they are friends first and that is what gets them through the hard times.
One of the things that couples in long-term relationships say is the hardest to maintain is the spark in marriage that keeps them connected as a couple. Marriage usually starts out exciting, full of promise and the desire to be together. As time progresses, couples find that real life encroaches on their marriage along with all of its stressors and difficulties. Successful couples will tell you that there is little you can do to maintain the same dream state you had when you were first married - and who would want to? There truly are things that you can do to keep the spark in marriage alive and to help rekindle the flames from time to time.
Many couples find that their marriage fails for a number of reasons. Usually the stress of raising children and dealing with each other’s personalities on a day-to-day basis can put a real crimp in the romance that two people share.Following a few simple rules can mean the difference between life and death for your marriage.
Too many idealists believe that a good marriage comes naturally or that if you really love your partner, you should not have to work at your marriage. Although there are the rare exceptions, most marriages take good, old-fashioned hard work to succeed.
Perhaps the most important thing any couple can do to keep the spark in marriage is to make time for each other on a regular basis. This does not mean eating together as a family each evening, although that is important too - it means spending time alone with your spouse. Some couples actually set aside one night a week called “date night” to escape for a few hours for dinner or a movie, or both. It does not matter what the couple does or which night of the week they choose, it only matters that they are spending time alone with each other without the outside influences that often divide them, such as kids and finances. There are many options for spending time alone with your spouse. A great idea is to take a walk around the block after dinner a few nights a week. This will give you the opportunity not only to spend time alone together, but also to get some exercise.The spark in marriage generally disappears because the two most important people in the relationship forget to make time for each other. Before marriage and in the early days of your union, you most likely spent the majority of your free time with each other. You spent some quiet time together, just hanging out and talking about different subjects. After marriage, in comes reality - bills, children, job stress. Couples just forget to spend time with each other and end up feeling like they don’t even know each other anymore. This leads to a marriage where the spark has simply gone out. A successful union is one that realizes the importance of the union itself and the two people who form it. Sure, family, friends and finances are very important, but how successful can a couple be at maintaining those things if their marriage lacks the spark necessary to stick with it.
Most experts will immediately agree that marriage is difficult. By entering into the marriage contract, two people have agreed not only to put up with each other’s idiosyncrasies, but to love each other unconditionally. Sure, his snoring seems cute now, but add about 25 pounds and about fifty decibels and it won’t be cute - especially after listening to it for several decades. Certainly, her habit of spending an hour on her hair is endearing now, but after years of waiting for what seems like an eternity, you may not think it’s so endearing anymoreWe all know that these behaviors will eventually grow old, but many of us are still surprised when it finally happens. The couples that end up letting these little annoyances wreck their marriage are the ones who have failed to maintain any other real connection. That is why keeping the spark alive is vital to your marriage.
We all envy the older couple that we see strolling down the street holding hands and wonder if we can indeed maintain the same level of closeness as we think they have. It is possible for anyone to sustain the feeling that they have married their best friend or the person that they really do want to spend the rest of their life with. If each person realizes that there will be good times and bad times in the relationship, maintaining the spark in marriage can be done successfully. Setting aside some time for each other to keep in touch with each other’s feelings, views and goals is one of the keys to a happy union. As people change over time, the marriage must adapt with them or it will not succeed. Spending some alone time with each other will give you the time you both need to grow and change with the marriage With everything you have learned, there is no doubt that keeping the spark in marriage alive is a lot of work. However, most happily married couples cannot imagine anything that provides more worth than fostering a successful relationship that lasts a lifetime. Any successful couple will tell you that their relationship did not remain strong out of apathy, but rather the same amount of hard work that anyone would put into any pursuit that they wanted to make successful. Just like a beautiful garden, a successful career or a fulfilled life, happy marriages do not just happen - you have to make it happen. Happy marriages require hard work, significant compromise and countless thoughtful gestures. Each partner must be aware and attuned to the needs of their spouse. The hard work required to maintain the spark in marriage is worth it to keep the relationship intact and healthy.lifescript
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