Thursday, 8 October 2015

American Horror Story: Hotel: We Checked in & We're Never Checking Out (Despite How Terrified We Are)


American Horror Story: Hotel, AHSWelcome to the Hotel Cortez, where everything is totally f--ked. 


We had no idea what to expect going into this season of American Horror Story, and just like every good episode of AHS, we still have no idea what's going on, but that doesn't mean we're not obsessed.
Is everyone dead? Is Gaga a vampire? Is it weird that we watched Gaga and Matt Bomer's orgy murder scene (after a trip to a poorly attended Cinespia screening, no less!), and thought, "Well, if you gotta die..." (Answers: Probably, no, and no?)
It appears that Gaga and her hotel are in the business of murdering people (in some of the worst possible ways) and dooming them to an eternal afterlife of hanging out in the hotel and looking both beautiful and very ill at the same time. She also steals children from carousels and turns them into adorable not-vampire ghost children, much to the chagrin of parents like Chloe Sevigny and Wes Bentley.
There's also some serious mother/son drama between Kathy Bates and Matt Bomer, with a little Sarah Paulson mixed in there, topped off with some Gaga and a slightly mysterious fashion designer played by Cheyenne Jackson.
And of course, we've got Max Greenfield, whose face no longer says "Schmidt" to us. Instead, it says "OH DEAR GOD LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY."
On that note, the E! Online TV team had a lot of thoughts about this premiere, so here's what disturbed and excited us the most! eonline

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